Think about it, in true horror movie fashion you are sitting there pretty much bound to a chair whilst someone wields a pair of razor sharp scissors startlingly close to your jugular. They are the Delilah to your Samson, the little bird in your ear, the devil on your shoulder, dictating a meteoric rise in esteem or ensuring social suicide with the snip of their dexterous fingers. Hairdressers, an underestimated force for good or evil in this world, the salon is where the true life-changing decisions that affect our futures are often made, although you may not have realise it at the time.
I'll admit, to some the issue of a bad hair cut/dye job may seem trivial and vain when there are so many terrible issues facing people in the world today, but don't you ever find that life can throw all sorts of curly problems your way which you'll handle with finesse but somehow disproportionately a really daggy hairdo will unravel the most confident, competent and happiest person in minutes?
We've all been that client that sits shell-shocked and staring at the salon mirror in a quiet rage "it's great" you say through gritted teeth and then go into denial only to rant in random outbursts to the nearest loved one, friend, passer-by about how tragic your hair looks as you peek into every plate-glass window walking down the street in the hopes that somehow it will appear better the next time you look.
After many visits and many rather comical results in the hairstyle department, I've picked up some of the the hairdresser codes for when things go wrong.
- When a cut is 'funky and fresh' it means they have cut off way more than you asked for, leaving you resembling mutley on a good day.
- When several hairdressers/assistants crowd around you at the dye rinse sink with stretched smiles and exclaim "oh wow, those colours DO work really well together", you know you are about to acquire the nickname "racoon" or"fruit-salad head" amongst your friends.
- You get talked into a perm and when the deed is done, it's "so retro it's so right now". In fact you are Basil Brush.
Wow these colours have turned out wonderfully......um, not
Luckily, I haven't had too many disasters of late but I was kind of annoyed about getting a full head of 'highlights' for £70 recently and coming out the other side looking pretty much the same, and here I was expecting to be transformed into Elle Macpherson - ripped off! In comparison to a few years ago, my reaction was pretty calm at the time and mildy peeved afterwards although I'll admit I am still obsessing a little, however once upon a time I was every hair-stylists' nemesis, armed with strong and slightly wacky ideas and no tolerance for misconstrued instructions.....I got a lot of free re-do's in those days.
It's also interesting that this obsession with hair-style isn't the sole premise of women, as I have discovered a certain currently long-haired bloke from Wales has been tracking the progress of his locks' growth and appearance via our laptop photo-booth, its a fascinating trip down hair-memory lane, lol (I love you and your hair babe, don't get mad)
Still the mop on top affects the way we view ourselves and others view us, in a stereotypical kind of way and also the people that cut our hair have their finger on social sentiment, current issues, you name it. I think a few world leaders would do well to spend a few days behind the barbers chair tapping into what really concerns us little people!
On that note, I'm sure my fringe needs a bit of tweaking...... must be off to terrorise an apprentice.
What's your bad hair-style story?